This week we celebrate Valentine’s Day with Fifty Shades of Grey. And, to make it even more romantic we’ve brought in help – our significant others. When it comes to a movie like this you don’t want to hear just a bunch of dudes talking. So we’ve fixed that for you.
And, as if discovering the types of women who would dare be seen with the likes of Reel Spoilers isn’t enough, we also brought in a “sexpert” – licensed counselor and sex therapist Lindsay Walden.
We’re not even gonna try and keep this one clean, folks.
It’s Reel Spoilers #82: Fifty Shades of Grey.
You’ve been warned.
Starring: Tom O’Keefe, Blake Fehl, Dan Graney, Lindsay Walden
Run-time: 2hr 11min
Finally. After years of speculation and two lackluster (albeit not from a money making stand point) entries into the Spider-Man mythos, Disney/Marvel and Sony Pictures have come to an agreement to share the rights to The Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man. This deal will bring Spider-Man into the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) and will allow Marvel to revitalize the stagnant Spidey franchise while giving Sony a major franchise again. With this new chapter in the history of Spider-Man about to be written, who will be cast as the web slinger?!
The Wachowskis are back and that’s starting to sound like a threat. There’s also something about aliens and stuff. Let us talk you through the film so you can be just as confused as we are.
Plus quite possibly the quickest box office report of all time from Kevin, and a video recovery from Dan.
It’s Reel Spoilers #81: Jupiter Ascending.
You’ve been warned.
Starring: Tom O’Keefe, Blake Fehl, Joe Buttice, Kevin Brackett
Run-time: 1hr 31min
They say whats old is new again, and in the case of Kingsman: The Secret Service directed by Matthew Vaughn, this statement rings true. Spy-related movies in general have taken a turn toward the more serious and purely dramatic route. Not to say that it is a bad thing, but for some,spy movies usually entail a certain level of fun to overlap the obviously dangerous particulars that coincide with the job.
Kingsman leads off with a group of the, well, Kingsman conducting a military operation in the middle east which does not end with necessarily savory results. Fast forward a decade and some change and we find Kingsman agent Harry Hart (Colin Firth), looking to recruit a young adult to join the Kingsman initiative. Here we find Gary “Eggsy” Unwin (Taron Egerton) among the a group of his peers training in the hopes of becoming a field agent. Meanwhile, you have eccentric billionaire, Richmond Valentine (Samuel L. Jackson) unveiling his own plans to “save the planet” in the long run no matter the immediate costly consequences.
One of the great things about Kingsman is the fact that it is self-aware. The movie pays homage to the Bond movies of old with the use of gadgets and exciting presentation. In fact a couple of the characters actually do make reference to the old school bond movies in a very tongue-in-cheek fashion. Another series that briefly came to mind was the first Men in Black (no, there are not any aliens present in the movie) in the sense that this clandestine organization brings about a certain intrigue in how they conduct their operations. At the same time it is amusing to watch the new recruits attempt to acclimate to the stresses of field work in their training. Kingsman does not take itself TOO seriously, there is a healthy balance of comedic beats to offset the stylish action scenes.
If Jupiter Ascending were a person, they’d be schizophrenic. The film is a convoluted and disjointed mess that even top-notch visuals can’t save. To say the film is a waste of your time would be an understatement. If that ringing endorsement doesn’t catch your attention, then continue on dear reader.
To start the convoluted story is a convoluted backstory, following Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis), a Russian immigrant who despite her model good looks is stuck cleaning toilets and living with her stereotypical Russian family. Her father was an Englishman (hence the surname Jones) who was shot and killed shortly after Jones was conceived. Presumably this wasn’t a ringing endorsement of why raising a child in Russia is a fantastic idea, so her family immigrated to the United States.