Valerie is torn between to two equally bland yet perfectly coiffed young men played by Billy Burke and Shiloh Fernandez. The former is a nobleman who offers a life of comfort while the latter, a simple woodsman, offers a life of sexy but intense brooding. The film diverges from the original tale by making it a kind of murder mystery. Which one of our villagers is the werewolf? It’s a clever, though woefully executed, plot device designed to pad out what would otherwise be a five-minute story. After all, there is a reason these are bedtime stories – they’re short.
The film clocks in at 100 minutes but feels significantly longer. It spends the first hour trudging through a tiresome mystery while trying to figure out ways to be something other than a Twilight knockoff. Then, in the final half-hour, it abruptly abandons this haughty yet ineffectual attempt at originality only to embrace its inner-Bella. When the film attempts to incorporate any of the original fairy tale the result, more often than not, is cringe worthy and induced unintended laughter from the audience. While the film does finally achieve a modicum of momentum in the final twenty-minutes it’s completely lacking in originality. In the end, all that can be said about this yawn-inducing exercise is that it’s still effective as a bedtime story.
That’s not intended as a compliment.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being Red Hot Riding Hood and 1 being The Cartoon Adventures of Teen Wolf, Red Riding Hood gets a 3.
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