Local, Movie Reviews

I Love You, Beth Cooper

Posted: July 9, 2009 at 10:29 pm   /   by   /   comments (0)

bethcooperChris Columbus will have a tough time picking up the pieces of his career after this atrocious and unwatchable mess that everyone involved with should be ashamed of for participating in or even letting it get to production.

I am not going to sum up the plot because it doesn’t matter, if you see this film you are a stark raving mad idiot that deserves every ounce of punishment you will endure for paying to see this film. About as fun as sticking your manhood in a blender, it is a boring, unoriginal, offensive, and painful experience from start to finish.

Setting itself up as the anti-teen movie, it succumbs to teen flick cliché almost immediately. The film thinks it is being pro gar, but actually comes off as homophobic as the assumed gay character, then even cops out at the end of whether he is really gay or not. Add to this the stereotyping of all military men being major douche bags, a romance that would never happen in a million year between the leads, the endless attempts to be cool by referencing endless movies and then bragging about the reference, the film is just an annoying mess.

The pacing is awful, the editing is horrendous, and the actors involved are a herd of C and D grade actors (aside from the main characters parents, Cynthia Stevenson and Alan Ruck, they are the only redeemable actors). The script is also just so unhumorous, empty of any originality, and such an unidentifiable main character, or any character in fact, it is almost shocking that this was made and anyone gave any money to make it.

I really don’t even want to talk about this movie anymore, but I heard even if you are a fan of the book that this is almost a completely different story being told. Nothing great from the book is apparently executed here and neither is anything in the film outside one flashback sequence near the end revolving around towel whipping.

The only redeemable aspect of the film is Hayden Panettiere’s almost shocking display of skin in a surprising side boob shot from the much clamored after Heroes star. And that pretty much sums up the appeal of I Love You, Beth Cooper, if you are interested in the title characters side boob there is something for you, otherwise there is no other possible reason you should go see this almost guaranteed lock for worst studio picture of the year and up one of the worst films I have ever seen.

It’s an F, but I wish I could create a new rating to convey how awful this film is.