Local, Off the Wall

Calm Down, Taylor Lautner Is Not Dead

Posted: January 10, 2010 at 10:37 pm   /   by   /   comments (11)

Hey girls! Calm down! Taylor Lautner isn’t dead (at least not as I type this…). You’ve just been trolled by someone who started a bad celebrity death rumor. Here is how you tell when something like this is a rumor in today’s news climate of everything being updated by the minute, if a credible news source does not have a story on it, then it didn’t happen.

So, get out your paper bags, hyper ventilate in there a bit to calm down, and go back to discussing just how hot his abs looked in New Moon.

Trust me when he does die, you are going to see reports about it everywhere. Unless of course he becomes a one hit wonder and people eventually forget about him, and he passes away. Although, most likely by that point you’ll be nodding off in your retirement homes and won’t think anything about werewolves with perfect six packs, and vampires who sparkle.

Note: I’m getting a lot of comments about how Taylor has passed away. There is yet to be any sources that have any worth to them. TMZ who broke the news about Brittany Murphy, Michael Jackson, and other recent celeb deaths are still not reporting this. Trust me guys, they’d be on this before I would. It is a hoax.