Calm Down, Taylor Lautner Is Not Dead

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Hey girls! Calm down! Taylor Lautner isn’t dead (at least not as I type this…). You’ve just been trolled by someone who started a bad celebrity death rumor. Here is how you tell when something like this is a rumor in today’s news climate of everything being updated by the minute, if a credible news source does not have a story on it, then it didn’t happen.

So, get out your paper bags, hyper ventilate in there a bit to calm down, and go back to discussing just how hot his abs looked in New Moon.

Trust me when he does die, you are going to see reports about it everywhere. Unless of course he becomes a one hit wonder and people eventually forget about him, and he passes away. Although, most likely by that point you’ll be nodding off in your retirement homes and won’t think anything about werewolves with perfect six packs, and vampires who sparkle.

Note: I’m getting a lot of comments about how Taylor has passed away. There is yet to be any sources that have any worth to them. TMZ who broke the news about Brittany Murphy, Michael Jackson, and other recent celeb deaths are still not reporting this. Trust me guys, they’d be on this before I would. It is a hoax.

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11 Comments

  • Reply
    Jim Shooper , January 10, 2010

    Do your fact-checking. As much as I want to not believe it, he’s gone like so many others before their time.

    “Taylor Lautner reportedly died of an accidental cocaine overdose early this evening (January 10, 2009). Sources close to the young Twilight star expressed their own shock at Lautner’s untimely passing, saying that Lautner rarely engaged in drug use. Neither Lautner’s representative or immediate family were available for comment at time of publication.”

    • Reply
      Blake , January 10, 2010

      Yeah, still no credible sources have reported it. The earliest “report” goes back two days ago. It’d be amazing if one of the hottest young actors out there right now had been dead for two days without the media hearing of anything.

      So, I’d say right now my fact checking remains intact. I’ll change this post as soon as a credible news source confirms it.

  • Reply
    Jessica Tanks , January 10, 2010

    Simply disgusting that you would make such a post after his untimely death. Shame on you. If we learn anything from Taylor it is that even once is dnagerous when dabbling with drugs.

    “Teen heartthrob Taylor Lautner has died following alleged drug-related cardiac arrhythmia according to the Los Angeles County coroner. Lautner, who catapulted to fame as a star of the Twilight film saga, was known for his family-friendly image, and his death evokes memories of the late River Phoenix.

    At roughly 6pm EST, Lautner reportedly attended a dinner party in West Hollywood and took a liking to several exotic dancers present at the event. Witnesses claim Lautner and the women began insufflating large quantities of cocaine. Lautner reportedly bragged at one point that he had “railed two eight balls worth of yeyo” out of one of the stripper’s buttocks. Lautner allegedly experienced convulsions and died shortly after paramedics were called to the scene. Although toxicology reports will not be released for several days, a cocaine overdose is widely believed to be the cause of the young actor’s death.”

  • Reply
    Jim Shooper , January 10, 2010

    Celebrity blogs and Twitter have always been ahead of old-fashioned general subject websites like this (and WAY ahead of print and TV). You dinosaurs will find that out soon enough.

  • Reply
    Blake , January 10, 2010

    When TMZ isn’t reporting it, you know it isn’t true. Get a hold of yourself people.

  • Reply
    Jim Shooper , January 10, 2010

    Check Fox411:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2g_IMqE7A08

  • Reply
    Blake , January 10, 2010

    Haha, I love you don’t post to the FOX411 site, and instead post a photoshopped video.

    I’m guessing you guys are out to troll Twilight fans tonight?

  • Reply
    Jim Shooper , January 10, 2010

    Spare me the accusations, those tweens practically troll themselves without anyone’s help. As an older (mid-30s) fan of the books before they got popular, I can say that Taylor Lautner is dead as a doornail, and you should show some respect.

    Or maybe go back to your muckraking and yellow journalism, your choice.

  • Reply
    Blake , January 10, 2010

    Show me one shred of evidence, and I’ll believe you. Not a photoshopped image in a video, but a real credible source that is confirming it or hell even reporting it as a rumor that might be true.

    Right now I know I am feeding the troll, but oh well.

  • Reply
    Cherise , January 11, 2010

    SERIOUSLY, GET A GRIP! people are now making up news report’s of him dying. If he was dead, we would know about it. But he isn’t! Your so stupid if you believe this. He isnt into drugs anyway.

    People are so gullible! HE IS NOT DEAD, STOP MAKING IT UP!

    love you taylor <3

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