By As I prepared to read The Woman In Me, Britney Spears new memoir, I thought the book would be filled with her memories from her award-winning music career, along with her stories of failed relationships.
Boy, was I wrong.
Instead, what I read in the 277-page book was heartbreaking and shocking. Spears was basically held captive by her father for 13 years, something that while unbeknownst to her fans and the public, was happening right before our very eyes.
The Woman in Me reads like you are sitting in a room, talking to the pop-star face to face. It’s a quick read, hard to put down because of the painful revelations the Grammy winner unleashes onto the pages of the book.
Over the course of Spears career, she was subject to a narrative that sold millions of records and made her a household name. Yet, during all of this, she was being scolded for being too sexual, but then those same forces putting her down, profited from that sexualization.
Spears basically became public property at age 16, constantly touring, making appearances, and having her body put on display to be criticized constantly. While making millions of dollars, her face being plastered on every magazine and becoming a regular on MTV, Spears secretly loathed a lot of the exposure. Her only outlet and joy were performing, which was soon taken under strict control, ruining her passion for the one thing she loved.
Once the gravy train started rolling, neither her family or record company would allow her to stop. She writes of her alcoholic father controlling her every move. He would fat-shame her constantly, strictly controlling her meals. Spears said she didn’t have anything but chicken and canned vegetables for two years at one point. Her father even put her in rehab multiple times, despite Spears not using drugs or having an issue with alcohol. Once the singer became a mother, her children were taken from her by ex-husband Kevin Federline, as she was not allowed to see them if she did not follow her father’s orders to go to multiple rehabs and perform multiple tours. Just thinking about all the times, we saw her performing on television, looking bubbly, when she was actually breaking on the inside from being a prisoner in her own body and home, is absolutely shocking. The infamous head-shaving incident, according to Spears, was meant to be a ‘fuck you’ to the impossible standards she was being forced to live up to.
Spears also speaks on her quest to find true love and being hurt by the men in her life. Starting with her father’s abuse that she thought she would escape from by going outdoors and eventually making her way onto the Mickey Mouse Club, she soon realized she was under his and the record company’s control as a budding teen star. She also speaks about her relationship with Justin Timberlake and how much she loved him, only to have him tell her she should get an abortion when becoming pregnant at the young age of 19. While she gave in and had the abortion, she thought the pair would be together forever, just to have him cheat on her multiple times as he left NSYNC to become a solo-pop star.
Timberlake’s journey to the top was at the expense of Spears reputation. She was completely vilified, her image ruined, while Timberlake excelled to the top of the pop music charts. Looking back on it now, I can’t help but feel for Spears, who was treated like a witch at the time, being all but strung up and set on fire.
Timberlake went public, saying she cheated, which she fully admits to a one-time thing with Wade Robson that Timberlake knew about. He failed to mention his transgressions with many women, one who is quite famous, according to Spears, while she declines to name the woman out of respect for her family. Spears talks of loving Timberlake so much that it sent her into a deep depression that she had to deal with for quite some time.
Because of Timberlake’s claim, Spears talks of her 2004 Onyx Hotel tour being too sexual due to the embarrassment from Timberlake going public. It was her rebuttal onstage, but she said it was awful.
Spears speaks of her relationships with other men in the book, including a short fling with actor Collin Farrell, her 55-hour marriage in Vegas, her failed marriage to Federline, and much more. All in all, it seems like Spears, while looking for love, has constantly been let down and mistreated by the men in her life.
While I can’t help but feel sorry for the pop star when it comes to her failed relationships, the most horrific tale is that of her conservatorship that her family held over her for 13 years. Her dates were forced to background checks, blood tests and made to sign NDAs before the first date. They were also given a complete rundown of her sexual history.
“The insanity of this system kept me from finding basic companionship, having a fun night out or making new friends – let alone falling in love,” Britney writes. “It was just the worst thing that could possibly ever happen to my music, my career and my sanity.”
In the book, she talks of being locked up like a prisoner, put on lithium, and not being able to bathe in private. She wonders if her family was trying to kill her, feeling like she was being ritually tortured.
Things started to change for Britney after a nurse turned her onto the ‘Free Britney’ movement by her fans. In June 2021, Britney started the process of ending the conservatorship. Now, free from it, she says she is done with her family, but is trying to have compassion, rather than anger toward them. While she talks of her love of posting pictures of herself and videos on social media still brings criticism, she says she is free and learning to love her life and her freedom. Just before the release of the book, Spears divorced Sam Ashgari. Despite her recent divorce, Spears seems to be in a better place.
Perhaps the saddest part of the book, comes near the end, as Spears talks of finally gaining her freedom.
“I’ve started to experience the riches of being an adult woman for the first time in many years. I felt like I’ve been underwater for so long, only rarely swimming up to the surface to gasp for air and a little food.”
As the singer says she feel reborn, singing as she walks around her home, as she did as a little girl. While she says she has found the joy of singing again, performing is something she is unsure of.
Now a 41-year old woman and finally able to love life and be free, The Woman in Me, shows that Spears is more than just a bubble-gum pop singing sex symbol, she is a free woman, a mother, and a survivor. Spears should be lauded for her brave, selfless story, that while it may be a tale of abuse, deception, and pain, in the end her faith allowed her to find peace and power in her womanhood.
The Woman in Me gets an A.